Each contribution that you make to the Society to Prevent my Employment is not deductible on your tax forms. Each person who makes a donation will get the following:

1. the satisfaction of keeping me in the lifestyle I am accustomed to.
2. If requested, I will mention your name on the contributors page.
3. When I am purchasing overpriced lingerie or firearms I might think of you
4. You have permission to tell people that we are acquainted.
5. Multiple dollar donators are permitted to have my name tattooed on any area of their body.
6. a cheesy form letter thanking you for sending cash, or a reprimand for sending too little.