I am sure many of you have noticed that there haven't been any changes to "Planet Egomania" . The sad truth is this...I am recovering from the death of My twin sister Demi. You might remember her from her small website Demi: pms defined She was always jealous of My charm and beauty and it saddens Me that I can no longer rub my success into her heavily painted face. I have been in shock since her death...for I was the only witness to her tragic suicide. The police have been wonderful helping me overcome my grief...and the insurance company rep from one of the 10 policies I had taken on Demi was a doll....he issued the check without any questions. As a part of my parole agreement and ongoing therapy I was asked to explain the situation surrounding the suicide of My twin sister Demi as a way for Me to overcome the tremendous grief I am feeling and to help me recover:
It was a cold rainy day in Las Vegas when
I was awaken at noon by the frantic sound of My sister Demi's voice shouting
in the receiver. She was going on and on about how she was upset that our mother
Sylvia was no longer taking her calls. I explained to her sympathetically that it
should not be a shock since Mother had adopted her out to the White Aryan Nation
over six years ago...and that along with the thirty-seven restraining orders mother
issued against her should
have been an indication that she wanted no contact with her. 
Well, to say Demi was
distraught was an understatement. I was very worried so after I watched My soaps and
took a shower I had my driver take me to her mobile home. When I open the door to her
panelled palace I was in shock! Who was she kidding! Blue drapes with a Pink sofa?
Ahhhh...but I digress. She answered the door wearing a mismatched pair of socks
and a swim suit. I told her I didn't have much time since I had an appointment to
get my legs waxed. She rolled her eyes and started ranting and raving about how
she was neglected and slighted. I told her to get over it. She said that she had
enough of her bleak existence and was going to end it all and she wanted me to
be there to witness it. I reminded her of my appointment. She said she would try
to hurry it up...I sensed some sarcasm.
She brought in a rope and a chair and
naturally being the polite lass I am, I helped her up...she looped the rope around
her neck..I got up to get a soda and accidentally knocked the chair over. After a few
sips of My soda I mentioned I had to vacate the premises. I heard a !thud!
apparently Demi has escaped her bondage. As I was pulling out of the trailer court
she appeared out of nowhere and jumped in front of my car...twice!
At this point I
was thinking she may be serious about her death wish...I followed her back into her
trailer and watched as she shot herself 11 times in the back! I know I should have
called a medic or something..but I felt she was just trying to get some attention.
I was a little concerned so I followed her as she got into her Pinto and drove
to the bridge. She stopped the car in front of the bridge and climbed into the
spacious hatchback. I assumed she was looking for change so I just observed. You
can imagine My shock when I watched breathlessly as she somehow managed to put the
car into neutral and off she went into her watery grave.
I cried as my driver
took me to My appointment...fortunately I didn't miss it and was able to get my
legs waxed on scheduled. The service was a simple one with no frills, I figured
Demi would have wanted it that way. Coincidentally, I am selling her ashes to the
highest bidder. Send your sealed bids in a S.A.S.E. to:
